Spiral notebook shavings

I ripped theories of Microeconomics out of a yellow spiral notebook which was mostly full of blank paper. I wanted to save the new pages to fill them with more theories and notes, underlines and equations, which someday will be transferred to the garbage just like Microeconomics. Earlier today my heart beat fast when I opened an e-mail announcing our grades for pre-term, and by clicking on the link to my student registration menu I found the one letter that validated my one month’s existence at this school, my work as a student, my choice in studies and direction in life opposed to being an artist or an Australian wheat harvester: “P”. This little letter had the power to determine my mood for the day and plan for the year. It meant I was going to continue my study of economics, despite the lingering doubt as to what I’m doing here. As I tore the notes out, strips and bits of paper shavings were caught in the rings and spread upon the desk. I swept these pervasive reminders into the garbage and prepared the notebook for another mistake.